Car Conversation - Zippers

One of the best parts of driving with kiddo in the car is the funny, interesting, non-stop conversation that inevitably ensues.  On the way home from receiving massages at IME/KCHA Student Clinic today, I’m certain I heard no less than a half-dozen “Hey, Mom…” starts to whatever question was on his mind.  We went though the usual suspects with me answering appropriately, though there were other thoughts in my mind…

Hey – there’s that Crystal Car Wash!  (He knows them all by name.)  Why haven’t we gone through that one yet?

(Because, dear child, I try to fill up the gas tank without you around; inevitably, it saves me $7.  I know you’ll ask for a car wash…every…single…time.  And I know I’ll cave…every…single…time.)

What snacks do we have to eat?

(Even though you just finished off a Braeburn apple the size of a small pumpkin not even 10 minutes ago?!  Thank God for the little baggie of cashews hiding out in my cooler!  The question is…do I really want to share them with you?)

What’s for dinner when we get home?

(Hopefully, leftover chicken; because I’m already past the 12-hour point of my day and don’t feel a bit like cooking.  Oh…and your dad better not have decided to eat it for lunch or he’s doing the cooking!)

Speaking of dinner…

Did I know that he and hubby made up a new game called “Bed Taco”?  Apparently, it involves every single piece of bedding in his room and all of the stuffed animals he could find.

(Fantastic!  No need to make the bed each day – just initiate a game of Bed Taco!  Side note:  teach kiddo how to fold sheets over Spring Break; I’m not picking up all that shit!)

Did I know that he eats lunch in the cafeteria at his new school and not the gym, like he did in the old school?

(Yes, dear.  It’s a much bigger school; it has nothing to do with trying to handle lunch and dodge ball at the same time.)

…and then, he surprised me by wanting to talk about how he was born.

He’s heard the story enough that this isn’t a new conversation, but I’m always curious to hear his take on things, and learn what part of it he’s interested in exploring more.

Today’s exchange went something like this:

Kiddo:  So I came out of your belly, right?

Me:  Yes.

Kiddo:  And not between your legs.

Me (surprised that he knew this information, and curious where he heard it since we haven’t had that conversation…yet):  That's correct.  Where did you hear about that?

Kiddo (with an enormous grin):  Super powers!  Just kidding -- Dad told me.

Me (surprised again; note to self to congratulate hubby on handling it himself, rather than telling kiddo to ask me):  Oh.  What else did he tell you?

Kiddo:  That they used a really cool staple gun to put your belly back together.

Me (not in the least surprised at this info; after all, tools are cool!):  Yes, they used staples.

Kiddo:  So, do you have a hole there?

Me (cautiously asking):  A hole where?

Kiddo:  Where they put the staples!

Me:  No.  My skin eventually healed up where they had cut me.

Kiddo:  I'm not sure I understand...

Me (struggling to find an analogy):  I guess the best way to describe it is to think of a zipper...they cut my skin and muscles and pulled them apart to make an opening so they could take you out.  Then, they stitched the muscles and skin back together to close it.

Kiddo:  You mean with the staples.

Me:  Yes, they used staples, too.

Kiddo:  That would be cool, too.

Me:  What would be cool?

Kiddo:  If you really had a zipper in your belly so when you had a baby, the doctor could just zip it open and ‘Plop!’ the baby would come out.  Then, they could just zip you right up again.

Me (trying to keep the car on the road while enjoying a great belly laugh):  Yes, Kiddo – that would be quite awesome!  It would have been a whole lot easier if I could have just zipped you out.  Maybe you’ll figure out how to invent a procedure like that some day.

Kiddo:  Yeah!  Hey – let’s tell Dad when we get home!